God

Does God exist?

I find myself not able to quite focus on the subject of God. As I grew up my mother was a Catholic, so for sometime we went to those Sunday church days, holiday church days, and I ended up going to an afterschool child Church group. In most of these, I would be just bored, drawing on whatever I can.

When I was younger, I thought God was really there and out for me. Looking out for me as another parent who i only give wishes to at nighttime. Here are some little askings I tried saying to "God:"

Dear God,

Hey its Christa again, I was wondering if you are there. I tried to talk to you. But i feel like i am just talking to myself. Will you somehow send me some kind of sign. Like a guy. No one likes me. and I just need a sign

Please

The next night:

God,

Are you even there. Listening to me? Maybe im not important enough. I will do anything. Give me a sign if you are there. Can't i just be one of those girls with a boyfriend.

And the next night:

Well,

I guess maybe there isnt even a God. Nothing is happening. I am still the same person that it seems no one likes.

Goodbye

When i was younger, i thought God was there to help you out in different areas of life like for me a boyfriend. But i tried talking to him every night. And no signs. This made me believe that there wasnt a God.

I know this sounds very selfish. But i am just explaining how i thought when i was younger.

I don't know if I technically believe that there is a God out there. I just don't quite know. And what if God isn't even a male.What if God was female? "

What if God was one of us?" - One of Us by Joan Osborne